Second property · Licensed 1974 · Managed by the same one person
Seven residents. Nobody requires assistance. Nobody has ever required assistance. The residents run the building, chair its committees, hold the thermostat, and operate the bingo economy. Management does the gutters, takes the minutes, and is checked on Tuesdays.
Posted in the dayroom · Laminated 2011 · Relaminated 2019
Thistledown maintains one care plan. It is reviewed quarterly by all seven residents. It is not for a resident.
Subject: staff · Prepared by: the Residents’ Committee · Adopted: unanimously · Review cycle: quarterly, and also whenever
The facility is licensed to provide assistance to seven people. Seven people live here. None of them has ever asked for any. The following plan concerns the eighth person in the building, who did not ask for it either, and who is receiving it regardless.
Adopted by all seven residents. Objections received: one, from the subject, who wrote it into the minutes himself, in his own hand, legibly, and then read it aloud, and then recorded that it had been overruled.
I feel great. I have never felt better. Somebody put a cardigan on me at ten past nine and I have been thinking about it all day. — B.
Next review: Tuesday. Every review is Tuesday.
Resident roster · Seven of seven occupied · No vacancies pending
Every room is occupied. Every resident is sixty-nine. Every resident is married. Every husband is named Gerald, which management has raised once and does not intend to raise again.
| Resident | Room | Known for | Has told Brian to stop | File |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ashelen | 1 | Expecting. The occupancy amendment runs to nine hundred pages. | Offering to carry things. | Her file |
| Melodie | 2 | Communicates only in song. Holds the PA microphone. | Making announcements himself. | Her file |
| Lynn | 3 | Runs the bingo economy. He owes her. | Trying to settle up in instalments. | Her file |
| Jennifer | 4 | Had an unpaid assistant for forty years. Never asked for one. | Saying “no trouble.” | Her file |
| Sheela | 5 | The greenhouse. It is on a county list. | Watering anything, ever, under any circumstances. | Her file |
| Yanci | 6 | Leaves the building. Is retrieved. Leaves again. | Looking so pleased when he finds her. | Her file |
| Kendra | 7 | A lease that will not stop renewing. | Renewing her lease. | Her file |
| Meela | 8 | The sharpest inspector on either property, from the second glass onward. | Filing sober. She never has. | Her file |
Resident files · One card each · Kept by management, obviously
Resident file · Room 1
Note
Nine hundred pages of occupancy amendment and I am reading every one of them aloud at the meeting. We are on page forty. — B.
Resident file · Room 2
Note
I said “attention residents” once, in a normal voice. She sang the correction. It had a middle eight. — B.
Resident file · Room 3
Note
Offered to pay it down weekly. She said the interest is the point. I asked what the interest was. She said “this.” — B.
Resident file · Room 4
Note
She never asked. I want that in the record. She never asked and I did it anyway for forty years, and I am doing it again on Thursday. — B.
Resident file · Room 5
Note
Something in there knows my name. Sheela says it is being friendly. I have decided to believe her. — B.
Resident file · Room 6
Note
She leaves a note saying where she is. I go and get her. We walk back the long way. Best forty minutes of the week. — B.
Resident file · Room 7
Note
Newest resident. Next ambitious frontier. I have a stamp for it and everything. — B.
Resident file · Room 8 & the cellar
Note
She has never once been wrong about this building. She will not tell me anything until the second glass and I have stopped asking her to. I just bring the tray. — B.
Not a resident · Here constantly
Note
Melody D. is not Melodie. I have clarified this two hundred times and there is a form for it now.
She inspects us every single day and has never once written us up. Tremendous commitment to asset management. — B.
Facility record · Selected years · Minuted by management
Built as a hotel for people passing through the bog. Nobody passed through the bog. The building was very good at being a building and waited.
Licensed as assisted living. The inspector asked which residents required assistance. Nobody raised a hand. He issued the licence and left at speed.
Bingo introduced as a light diversion. Lynn wins. Lynn continues to win. The economy is now larger than the operating budget and is denominated in beans.
The thermostat is set to 69 and removed from management’s authority by unanimous vote. It has not moved since. It is not going to.
Management laminates his badge at a copy shop and, on the same trip, orders a rubber stamp reading RENEWED. He had no lease to renew yet. He bought it anyway.
A PA system is installed for emergencies. Melodie locates the microphone in nine minutes. There have been no emergencies and there has been a great deal of PA.
The first care plan for the property manager is drafted. He files it as a maintenance request. The committee returns it, corrected, in red, with a note.
Kendra arrives. The lease is signed at four o’clock. The lease is renewed at two minutes past four.
Yanci leaves the building for the first time. Retrieved in twenty minutes. Requests a longer route next time. The request is granted.
The County Recorder writes for the third time regarding filings from Room 7. The letter is read into the minutes and then filed, which generated another filing.
Ashelen’s occupancy amendment reaches nine hundred pages. Still being read aloud at meetings. We are on page forty.
Raised at meetings · Answered from the chair · The chair is not management
No. This has been asked at every inspection since 1974 and answered the same way every time. The building is licensed to provide assistance. The building has never once been asked to provide any. The licence is renewed regardless, by management, enthusiastically.
Gutters. Bulbs. Forms. Minutes. Carrying the folding chairs out and then back. Being fed. Being told to sit down. Being retrieved from the greenhouse. Being handed a cardigan at ten past nine.
The Residents’ Committee, which is all seven residents, which meets weekly, which sets the thermostat, approves the menu, controls the PA, audits the bingo float and reviews the care plan. Management takes the minutes. Management is not on the committee. Management has applied twice and has been thanked for his interest twice.
He is thriving. He is checked on Tuesdays. He is the only person in this building with a documented health concern and he is delighted about it, which the committee has noted, in the minutes, that he himself wrote down.